Ok, so I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I guess I was afraid to even talk about how I was feeling for fear that I would start over analyzing everything to the point of insanity. I’m pretty close to that anyway during this 2ww: is that a twinge? hmm, I’m bloated, is that a sign? my boobs are sore, does that mean something? I’m so hyper-aware of my body, it drives me crazy. Logically I know it’s too early for pregnancy symptoms and I know everyone is different and I know there is no way to tell at this point. But somehow that doesn’t stop me.
So I awoke this morning and had to pee soooooo bad, I had to get up a little earlier than I normally do. I immediately grabbed a test kit I had under the sink. By the time my more rational self was awake, it was too late – I was already putting little drops of pee onto the test stick. Then there was nothing to do but wait. I knew I was going to hate myself for doing it.
Negative.
Negative. Negative.
So one thing I guess I do know is that the trigger shot is out of my system. I’m 10DPIUI today. I know it’s early to get a positive, but now I’m bummed. I really feel like it didn’t work. I just want to cry. But I can’t yet. I think a part of me still has a little hope, though it’s hard to find that piece of me. And that hope scares me. I don’t want to be let down. I’m not good with failure.
It’s so hard to be patient during the TWW. It’s torture! I’m praying for you guys. Try to keep your head up.
*Big Hug*
Thank you so much for your prayers!! I know it’s still possible but I’m being such a negative Nancy today 😦 Do you have a blog on WordPress? Send me the link if you do. I’ll love to follow you back.
Hey sweets, I am with you, I really wanted to test today too. I find that the secret is just not to buy any tests. I know that sounds too simple, but if I have them I will use them so I just don’t get them. It’s easier to have the willpower at the store then in the morning for sure.
I’m going to tell you what you already know, it is very early. Most people don’t even implant at 10-11DPO so that is why most people dont get a +HPT until after 14DPO. Not that I don’t understand the urge to POAS, I used to be a huge POASA. Esspecially when you hear all of those stories of people getting positives at 9DPO.
GL to you, it will happen one way or another.
You are so right Sarah. I made the mistake of stocking up at the $tree on those cheapy tests. Then the urge is even greater. I was able to stop myself today though!! Tomorrow, however, may be another story since that was my original “POAS” date.
Beta Monday. KMFX and hoping AF stays away for both of us!!