Archive for December, 2009

On to the next one….

Okay so I didn’t get preggo this month.  Not that I really expected it.  AF came exactly 30 days since I’d last seen her – December 22.  I have never, ever, ever had two so close together.  Totally unusual for me.  So anyway, that was that.

The good news (sorta I guess) is that event signaled the beginning of my first Clomid cycle and got me looking ahead to my first IUI.  I started with 50mg of Clomid and let me tell you what a blast that is.   Hot flashes, stomach cramps, nausea, crying fits.  My husband is thrilled!  HA.  It’s all for a purpose though, so I’m ok with it.  I’m not complaining (ok, maybe a little).

So the Clomid is over for now.  Last pill taken.  I have my next appt with the RE this Saturday morning to check my follicles.  I hope those bad boys are ready, because I certainly am.  If all things are good, I do my Ovidrel injection on Sunday and IUI on Monday.

Everything seems to be moving so fast now!  I really hope this Clomid stuff works and we can do the IUI.  I’m trying to be really positive but it’s so hard sometimes.  I feel like I’m so cynical now.  So many months of disappointment makes it so hard to be hopeful.  I know it will happen eventually and I know we’re trying something we haven’t before and I know we’ll have the family we long eventually…..but I’m still impatient.

IUI here I come.  Hope it sticks.


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I guess I’ve been in the dreaded “2 week wait” before, I just didn’t know it. Sometimes, the more you know about your body, the more crazy it can make you.

So I O’d. And we DTD. So I could be preggo. It’s a far fetch, but anything’s possible. So now, we wait. And wait. This is the longest 2 weeks ever.

How cool would it be to find out I’m preggo on Christmas??

Hold on.

Don’t go there. Not yet.

Don’t get hopes up. Focus on Christmas. Breathe.

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Oh this process….like nothing I’ve ever been through. The human body really is a pretty amazing thing and confusing as hell! I’m still full of questions about my PCOS and this entire journey we’re about to embark on with our RE.

I had my latest RE appt on the 15th.  I still had about 12/15 cysts on each side, but was told based on my blood work and ultrasound that I actually ovulated a couple of days prior!!!  And it’s funny because last week (maybe Thurs or Fri) I was having some pretty serious pain on my left side.  I just assumed it was digestive but it was a weird pain I had never felt before.  I even said half-joking to the hubby, hey maybe I’m ovulating.  Turns out, I guess I was.

Now of course I wonder, was that the first time ever?  I’ve never had pain before!  Will it happen again?  Do I really have PCOS?  Do I need more tests to determine that?  Could I possibly get pregnant this cycle on my own?

So I have to call the RE again on the 23rd because hopefully I’ll have started my cycle on my own by that time.  If not, I’ll start some Provera to kick start it so we can get a-moving here.  I hate standing by and waiting.  Totally not my style.  I want control – I want to take some action – let’s go!

Right nowI feel like I’m in such a weird place.  I have sorta non-standard PCOS, now I’m ovulating on my own, I have no idea what’s really going on in my body or what’s going to happen in the future.  I am so Type A.  And I really hate not having the answer to something.  I’m not even sure I’ll ever have satisfactory questions to all my answers.  I guess that’s life, right?

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ahh sweet perspective

Ok so looking back on yesterday, that HSG really wasn’t that bad.  Ok, it was bad at the time but now it seems like a distant memory.  I mean, I wouldn’t volunteer to have it again or anything, but completely tolerable.  It’s amazing to me how quickly the brain can “forget” about pain.  I guess that’s why women willingly go through multiple childbirths!

I think my biggest problem is the anxiety and the buildup to these doctor’s visits.  I’m totally freaking on the inside but I’m really ok with enduring pain.  I wonder if that still makes me a wimp?  I’d like to think I have a pretty high pain threshold.

So anyway, I just have to say, I have the best RE ever!!!  They called me today just to make sure my HSG went ok.  They hadn’t received the records yet so they called my GYN to get them.  Within 2 hours they had gotten the records, had the doc review them, and called me back with the results!!  Whoo hooo!!  They said everything was normal so we should be good to go!  Now just that little problem of not ovulating….

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Ok, so I have a second page on here which has more or less the story of our journey to this point.  From here on out, you’ll see lots of updates from me.  You’ll quickly learn that I’m a worrywart and sometimes a pessimist.  I know that is a really great combination of traits.  I’m working on it – really.  But it my self-protection mechanism so it’s pretty hard to shake.

So I had my first (and I hope to God my last) HSG today.  What a lovely experience that was.  (I’ve got a knack for sarcasm too).   Ok, so seriously one of the most painful things I have ever had to endure.  For those of you unfamiliar with this lovely procedure, you lay down on an xray table with your legs draped over some horse saddles while a doctor washes your cervix and then sticks a catheter through it.  Hmm…have I lost anyone yet?  After that, they inject a dye into your cervix so they can see how it travels through your tubes.  During my procedure the radiologist kept requesting the gyn move the catheter around to shoot the dye to different spots.  That was pretty uncomfortable to say the least.

Thank goodness I prepped myself with 800mg of Advil and a dose of Ativan.  I wouldn’t have made it otherwise.  So now that it’s over, I’m feeling kinda crappy – mostly crampy and sometimes just a little funny feeling.  It’s hard to describe.

I’m just glad it’s OVER!  I had a slight blockage on the left side, but I will have to wait for my RE appt to really find out what that means for me.  I’m hoping it’s nothing.

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I really was never the journal keeping type, though I did have one as a kid.  Most of the pages had only a line or two written about some cute boy I liked or said something witty like “nothing new today.  bye.”  Oh what a writer I was.

I love reading other people’s blogs but I really hating writing about myself.  However, the journey I’ve been on and the one I’m about to start has changed my mind.  There are some things that I need to just get off my chest – even if it’s with strangers.  I’m a techie-computer-social media-addict and a pretty good typist so I guess – here is my outlet.

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